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| About Naomi Tickle | Event Speaker | Personology Explained |
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Excerpt from Chapter Seven: Narrow and Wide Faces SELF-CONFIDENCE
An individual's degree of self-confidence
is
determined by the width of the face, which is measured from the
outer edge of one eyebrow to the outer edge of the other eyebrow
compared with the length of the face from the chin to the turn
of the forehead. A special tool was designed to accurately
determine the width of the left and right side of the face,
since they are not always the same. This determines if one
side of the face is narrower compared to the other. If so,
this indicates that sometimes that individual feels more
confident and other times less confident.
Self-confidence is a feeling, not an intellectual
awareness of one's potential. In other words, innate
self-confidence constitutes how the individual feels about
himself or herself. Individuals who have wide faces feel
confident and self assured in the face of challenges or
environmental circumstances. They assume they can take on
anything whether or not they have the knowledge or experience.
Whereas a narrow-faced individual feels extremely hesitant when
faced with new situations.
Narrow Face
Individuals with narrow faces build their confidence through knowledge and experience. They take class after class just to make sure they have enough information to start their new business or career. They build a strong foundation of knowledge.
A bright, narrow-faced engineer who was well
known for his expertise in his field was asked to give a
presentation to some prominent engineers in Germany. This
represented the first time he had given a presentation to such a
distinguished group. When the time came to present his paper, he
felt terrified and fumbled through the presentation. The tension
inside him seemed agonizing. He left feeling he had not met the
group's expectations. The whole experience devastated him.
If his employers had prepared him
beforehand,
he could have given a successful presentation. His manager might
have said to him, "This is new for you. Here is someone you
can work with to help you prepare the talk." For a person
with the Build Confidence Through Knowledge trait, this approach
would have removed much of the fear from the presentation.
Many employees complain
that their
employers do not offer enough training or support for people who
are facing new situations or positions in the company. This is
particularly true for narrow-faced people who feel the need to
know more to feel comfortable compared to wide-faced people who
have more self-confidence. Many employees with narrow faces have
walked off the job, because the thought of facing new situations
with no support in place seemed too daunting. If managers just
took the time to put in place a training program, it would save
the company far more than the cost of the training.
Whereas the wide-faced, or High Self-Confident,
person is self-assured, the narrow-faced person finds tasks or
situations beyond their realm of expertise overwhelming. People
with narrow faces are intensely aware of their limitations and,
consequently, more apt to stay with what feels familiar or
comfortable rather than striking out boldly in new fields. This
depends on other facial features, or traits, that may support or
diminish self-confidence. To rise above discouragement, they
need to have some real incentive or a goal. Otherwise, these
people with the Builds Confidence Through Knowledge trait risk
surrendering to self-doubt and old fear-oriented reactions,
especially when confronted with wide-faced (Self-Confident)
individuals, new situations or challenges.
If you have a narrow face and the personality
trait to go with it, think about the times when you have pulled
through before, despite your feelings of uncertainty. Keep in
mind that fear stems from your lack of information and
experience. Remind yourself that you can achieve both.
Low self-esteem is often seen in people with
narrow faces and close-set eyes (Low Tolerance). If these people
are raised in non-supportive environments, it takes quite some
time before they believe in themselves. Add Critical Perception
(outer corner of the eye lower than the inner corner) to the
above trait cluster, and this really can impact their
self-esteem.
One woman I met who had close set eyes (Low
Tolerance) and narrow face (Builds Confidence Through
Knowledge), felt extremely fearful of stepping out of her secure
life. She did not need to work, yet she had the desire to find
her own niche in life. Fear held her back. With some
coaching, she was able to move her life forward and work through
the fear.
If you have the trait cluster of - close
set eyes (Low Tolerance) and narrow face, focus on what you want
to bring into your life. We often wish for things to happen so
much that I think we tend to hold on to our desires too tightly.
The anxiety we feel about the possibility of our dreams not
manifesting keeps us from moving towards our goals. Catch
yourself when you go into the anxiety mode, which often is
experienced by individuals who have the above trait cluster.
Spend a couple of minutes each day thinking about what you would
like to manifest in your life. Just let the thoughts go
without any expectation. This technique has worked for
many of my clients. Focus on the possibilities, not the
obstacles.
Individuals with narrow faces are willing
to stand back and learn from others and evaluate situations.
They are aware of their own limitations. Once they gain
knowledge in their field, they have all the confidence in the
world. Until they have the knowledge needed, they are unlikely
to confront the world. For this reason, people with narrow faces
will appear to others to hesitate before taking on anything new.
Often times these individuals presume their inadequacy.
Notice I avoid using the term "low self-confidence"
when describing narrow-faced people. People hang on to
this label, and it keeps their lives on hold. Hence, using
"builds confidence through knowledge" seems a better
way to describe their perception of themselves or how they
approach life.
Other traits such as Forcefulness (head higher at
the back) and High Competitive (head wider at the back compared
to the front) makes narrow-faced people appear more confident
than they actually feel inside. These personality traits
combined with Risk Taking (ring finger longer than the index
finger) tend to push these people out on the edge. This trait
cluster keeps them wondering why they keep putting themselves in
such challenging situations.
If you have a narrow-face and you are going
for a job interview, networking at an event or giving a
presentation, wear darker colors, such as black, navy, deep
green, deep purple or red. These are "power
colors" that will support your verbal and your visual
message. If you wear lighter colors at these events people
may not take you quite as seriously, and you will have to work
harder to get your message across.
If you are hesitant about speaking in
front of an audience or simply standing up and giving a
two-minute pitch or introduction at meetings, you might want to
take a speaking class. This will help you over your fear of
speaking. An organization called Speaking Circles has a
very good program. See contact information at the end of
the book.
On the positive side of this personality trait
individuals with a narrow face are aware of their limitations
and are quick to seek out others or take classes to enhance
their knowledge.
However, individuals with this trait tend to
undersell themselves. Rather than fight pressure, they may
conform or run away from it. They may feel inadequate, because
they lack either experience or knowledge needed to take on a new
task. Once they have the knowledge, the situation will seem less
daunting. They'll have all the confidence necessary to succeed.
Famous Faces
Tennis player Novac Djocovic, Andy Roddick, Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, tennis player Maria Sharapova.
Relationships
Be there to support your narrow faced partner in new situations. Get them to relax when they appear to be overly anxious.
Children
Often children with narrow faces are extremely hesitant about meeting new people. Their parents term this behavior as "shy." The child may take that label into their adult life. We often hear adults say, "I'm very shy at parties or networking events." In fact, they may just be hesitant, but they have adopted the term given them at an early age.
Narrow-faced children need exposure to all kinds
of experiences under supervision in small doses. Allow them to
take just one step at a time. Once the children have a basic
knowledge of what to expect, they will possess the ability to
handle the new situation easily.
Parents need to support and acknowledge their
children's achievements whether small or large. If children with
narrow faces are also Sequential Thinkers (linear forehead)
parents shouldn't hurry them or try to skip educational levels.
It's best to let these children grow and learn at their own
pace. Parents should give them new assignments one at a time and
make sure they understand each step before they move on to the
next.
If your child appears to be hesitant in new
situations, be there to support them. Don't just say,
"You'll be fine." Talk them through the
situation and explain what they will experience. If they
dread an exam, especially if they have the Sequential Thinking
(vertical forehead) trait, which indicates they do not do well
under pressure, help them relax beforehand.
Sales
Be there to support your narrow-faced customer. Make sure they really understand how to use the new tool or service you are offering. When possible, follow up with a phone call to answer any questions that may have come up. [end of excerpt from Self-Confidence]
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